The Greatest Gift to Yourself
That greatest gift is you!
At the very start of November I became very sick and found myself unable to do many of the “regular” life day to day routines. I was unable to exercise, eat properly or sleep comfortably among other things. During my recovery I learned true valuable lessons, about myself, soul and life.
I recognized true life shifting mindset & growth in so many areas and who even thought with a sickness this kind of growth could happen? I sure didn’t. I saw within myself a willingness to overcome & look inward as I began to choose myself over and over again. With this I am stronger mentally, spiritually & emotionally.
There was an unlocked level of my ability to be MORE present for myself, my marriage, my children and my business by giving first to the most important person, ME.
I am partially giving credit to boundaries and having clear alignment with them. Boundaries have everything to do with protecting YOU and setting the basic guidelines for how others interact, treat and behave with you. Since 2017, after recognizing my true worth I lost friends, relationships and found true power and growth in protecting my space, time and energy in order to reserve healing for myself. I stepped into my own during this time because I had to!
During the month of November I intentionally practiced self – reflection and dug deep into learning about boundaries and how to formulate healthier ones for various areas of my life. Boundaries are often perceived as BAD or brick walls but will start to make clear sense when we understand that it is the absolute form of self-care and awareness. Healthy boundaries are the ultimate guide to successful relationships not only with others but starting with YOU!
In this piece by Mind Body, Green I brushed up on 6 boundary types. And in my momspace group I spoke about how we can protect our time/energy & space boundaries and the importance of personal boundaries.
3 Easy Boundary Improvements
- Say NO (point blank, periodt pooh)
- Evaluate the areas of your life where you feel boundaries are being crossed. Communicate your need for boundaries and if the person/place/people cannot respect this – remove yourself from this toxic energy.
- Are you disrespecting your own boundaries? When it’s YOU vs. YOU we are our own worst enemy. When you’ve set clear boundaries for yourself make sure the main culprit isn’t you self-sabotaging.
My go to for giving to myself is usually some kind movement, time spent in the gym, outside or a yoga studio. But when you’re sick and the exercise is limited what exactly can you do to give to yourself?
I focused on 5 areas/actions as a means of choosing self & these five things helped me to grow strong as I continuously poured into myself. With these I was able to get clarity on some of my mental health triggers, focus my attention and remain mindful.
I was able to create space for my healing to occur as I worked through my fears with each of these.
Positive Self-Talk: Affirmations surround me. One of the first things I see when I wake up is “Love Yourself”, the affirmation at the beginning of this post is one I created at the start of the month said to myself in meditation daily. It’s with mindshifting positive self-talk I was able to distract myself from what has been the most challenging time in my life.
Meditation: A true gift to my process is meditation. Meditation allows me to clear the anxiety of my mind if only for 5 minutes out my day. I started my month with 3 minutes of meditation and by the end of the month I am able to gain control for a full 15 minutes, this has changed my life & control.
Reflective Journaling: Reflective journaling allows me to look inward and process feelings I have inside and get them out on paper.
Therapy: I increased my sessions during this time in order to help me deal with some PTSD that was triggered as a result of being sick.
Listening: I listened to my body (this saved my life). I listened to the doctors order and RESTED when I needed too. I found that when I go on without listening to needs of my body, my mind or my spirit I am left empty. But the greatest gift to myself has been being able to listen to myself to seek true understanding & healing.
The Adjustment Period
Was it easy? No, I cried ALOT because I was legit scared! But I took breaks when I needed to take breaks and I showed up for myself everyday. Some days showing up looked like making sure I ate enough food, some days showing up looked like working in bed instead of my desk.
And that’s just how life is, its some days good and some days bad but what you do with the hand you’re given is a testament to your ability to continuously grow on your journey.
What Can YOU do?
As I look back I think all my actions were because I was intentional, I was intentional on not letting what was meant to break me push me down into hiding. And while I did want to hide everyday, it was an everyday CHOICE to keep going. It was a CHOICE to choose me & to give to myself first.
What does giving first mean? It means putting your oxygen mask on first before the person next to you. It means feeding yourself enough in order to sustain energy to nurse your child. It means seeking to create space to understand what your needs are in the first place! I encourage you in this giving season to be mindful of yourself talk, your actions and stay in harmony with you.
The month of November series is GIVING, all month long I will elaborate on the areas I shared above in order to help you achieve personal growth and giving to yourself intentionally.